OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
it was like eating out sand paper
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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