Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
