After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
