1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
