Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i think i have two assholes
well you can't waste a boner
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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