First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
