I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
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