Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize