I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I am naked and annoyed.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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