LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
