He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
please come you make the beer taste better
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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