I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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