Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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