Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
