You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
