Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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