i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
