I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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