Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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