you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
