arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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