his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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