its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
