Your tits are I can't wait for
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
