At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
