It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
