two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never too late to be topless.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize