Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
