im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Everyone says I win the strip club
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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