You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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