I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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