Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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