I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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