idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
