is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
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