I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
