But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
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Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
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if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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