made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
