I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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