i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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