I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
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