Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
