you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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