Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
