guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize