i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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