you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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