it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
