I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Four minutes until I can fart!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
