He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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