I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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