Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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