every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize