My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
