I've blown a few things in my day
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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