..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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