I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
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Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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