You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
