Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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