my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
