If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
