ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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