who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
either way he was missing a nipple.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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