I'm eating all of the evidence.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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