Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize