He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
