There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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